Retirement is sometimes about reflection.  You begin to retrace some of the places that you’ve lived and worked, in our case a result of job transfers.  We’ve moved from Indianapolis, Indiana, to Decatur, Illinois, to Austin, Texas, to Portland, Oregon; and we’re already beginning to wonder what will be next?

We’re lucky to have lived in two of the “weirdest” cities in the United States, and I often describe Portland as Austin with refrigeration.   Each city has it’s reasons for being weird, but no one is really sure which of the two was first!  I’m also not sure that it really matters.   Is there more weirdness out there?

I wrote an article while I was in Austin about 8 years ago.  I was not retired but I was between jobs, so I had time to log a few of my experiences.  At that time, I was not even aware that Portland claimed to be weird, as well, so I didn’t give it the credit in strangeness that it deserves.  I know better now, but you may not know much about Austin.  Here was my take:

Bevo and Bats

We moved to Austin in a flurry, with little time to research the city. As a result, we were caught off-guard about some of the things that make it proudly weird.  No other city that I’m aware of (except Portland now) prides itself on being weird, and fights hard to stay that way. I think they’re winning.

Austin has a great gene pool. The people here are tan, trim, and fit. The only problem is that beautiful bodies are artfully altered with tattoos, piercings, and more tattoos. I’m worried because I’m finding the work quite amazing, but wondering what it will look like in twenty years when they’re my age. By the same token, maybe with some ink and silver modifications, I’d look twenty years younger.

Austin people seem to only have one hand available at any given time. The other hand has a drink in it.  Coffee shops are flourishing, water is sold at major crossroads, and tequila choices occupy a full page of many restaurant menus.  With all the live concerts and festivals, I’ve yet to witness a standing ovation.  They just hoist their drink of choice in the air.

Austinites love their animals. Surely this relates to Bevo, the beloved longhorn mascot of the University of Texas.  Although our dog doesn’t have the same status as Bevo, even she is treated like a first class citizen.  Her first day in Austin she joined 10,000 of her closest canine associates in the “Mighty Texas Dog Walk,” a three-mile pet parade. She now proudly wears a medallion on her collar as a Guinness World Record holder and joins us regularly on the outdoor patios of many area restaurants. I don’t think longhorn steers are welcome and may be offended by some of the menu choices. Bevo rules in Austin.  Just visit the museum.

The University that I attended sadly did not have a mascot, but my high school had “Mr. B,” the Blue Blazer.  “Mr. B” had an over-sized head, with a corkscrew lightening bolt nose and shocking yellow hair that stood on end. Whoever got to wear the outfit was revered like a rock star. It was an honor befitting a Silver Spur, one of Bevo’s caretakers.  “Mr. B” would have fit in nicely here, hardly weird enough to turn a head.

One of the weirdest sights in Austin occurs just before dark.  I was walking towards the Congress Street Bridge and observed what I thought was a cloud of smoke in the sky. Then more wisps of darkness followed.   My first thought was they were swarms of bees or birds.  They were, of course, bats, Tadarida brasiliensis, the Mexican free-tailed species.  The bridge is their home and millions appear in minutes, with the smell of the first insects of the evening. Speaking of such odors, I will grow to love the smell of bat dung in the morning. By that time, there are few insects left, so it’s rare to be bitten by a mosquito. The question still remains. Are they eaten by the bats or just repelled by the smell?  While there is no Batman, they do have Batboys.  You’ll find them in Round Rock at the Dell Diamond, home of Nolen Ryan’s Express AAA baseball team.

The Mockingbird is the state bird of Texas, while the construction crane is the city bird of Austin. This I learned on a boat tour around Lady Bird Lake, a downtown gem.  I haven’t been mocked yet, but I do have a stiff neck from following the progress of the glut of high rise condos popping up all over town.  The downtown streets are typically closed on weekends for seemingly non-stop events including a criterium (bicycle race), parade of weirdo’s (I haven’t been invited to participate yet), triathlon, motorcycle rally, armadillo race (just kidding), outdoor market, concert, road race, or continuous road work. There’s always something going on downtown and some of the residents are upset over the inconvenience. I find it fascinating and exciting.

The Texas highway system is weird, too. They have loops that don’t ever loop, sky high interchanges, and exit ramps that really don’t require you to slow down.  Unless you’re careful, or new to town, you can easily end up where you exited or on a highway to Houston.  They also have FM here, and it doesn’t just apply to radio. It’s a Texas road system called Farm to Market, not to be confused with RM, Ranch to Market.  There are, however, farms on the RM and ranches on the FM.  It’s all part of learning the language.

Life is a festival in Austin.  The “Keep Austin Weird Festival,” was just last week, and I’m anticipating some of the other music and film events like the “Heart of Texas Quadruple Bypass Music Festival,” the “Austin City Limits Music Festival,” and “South by Southwest.”  Austin has always been a favorite stop for past and present music legends like Willie Nelson, Janis Joplin, and Stevie Ray Vaughan, who regularly performed at the now-defunct Armadillo World Headquarters.  The live music stays up much later than I do, so what goes on after ten is I’m sure even weirder.  The Stevie Ray Vaughn statue on Lady Bird Lake is a tribute to guitar heroes who made Austin the live music capital of the world.  By the way, the bats have a statue, too.  They just can’t see it.