With the spare time benefits of retirement, I’ve found a few ways to help the environment and save a few bucks.  Oregon just raised the value of a plastic bottle from 5 cents to a dime, so it’s a no-brainer to separate these from the recycling container and take them to a redemption center for cash.  For too long, I ignorantly didn’t realize that I was paying this rebate up front when I bought a case of water.  Maybe you do get smarter in retirement, or at least you have the time to think about these things?  I guess I was just content knowing that there was income for the homeless in collecting bottles and cans.

A good friend of mine just became a Certified Master Recycler.  He, for one, is using his retirement time in constructive ways, and spends time on the weekend driving a portable recycling unit, picking up waste on our Oregon beaches, and educating people like me to protect our natural resources.  However, it also puts more pressure on me to be more conscientious of our environmental habits.

Recycling can be very complicated, so it requires education.  Getting the right items in the correct bin requires knowledge and thought, that I have more time for now.  We have four separate bins in my garage:  dark green for trash, light green for compost, yellow for glass, and blue for recyclables.   On trash day in our neighborhood, it is a colorful affair, but put them out early and you could get fined.

I know that years ago, when I was living in Austin, Texas, laws were being passed about the use of plastic bags and their effect on the environment.  To this day, we provide our own bags to carry the items we have purchased.  I wrote this humorous article to support this small contribution to waste management:

Bag the Bags

Would you prefer paper or plastic?  It’s a question I’m no longer asked because I’m officially a carrier.  My bag now goes with me where ever I go. It’s not a designer bag, a gym bag, or a diaper bag – but it could be.  It looks like a tote bag, but functionally serves as a contraceptive device, magically preventing plastic bags from multiplying. I’m pretty sure that’s what they were doing in the privacy of my kitchen closet.

Years ago I purchased a plastic bag organizer.  It was designed to efficiently store any plastic bags brought home, and to easily re-dispense them as needed.  One organizer led to two and, much to my dismay, the closet floor was soon overcrowded with overflow.  More plastic bags came home than ever left, or they were simply multiplying.  I couldn’t possibly stuff more into the organizer, there wasn’t room for more organizers, and plastic bags were consuming the floor space.  My closet became a microcosm of our earth.  I had to bag the bags!

For over sixty years, I’ve been green about going green. Every day I left behind the packaging remnants of what I consumed.  Laziness and ignorance were the key words here, as I honestly believed it was simply a matter of throwing it away.  After all, that was a lot more than many people did, irresponsibly littering our planet.   It’s definitely hard work keeping our earth in order, and I admire the people who champion this cause and educate people like me who sometimes don’t know better.

Bags are made to organize and transport. There are refuse bags, equipment bags, golf bags, and bowling ball bags. There’s also a bag for every purpose: from storing your favorite snack to bringing home what you were too full to finish. To add to the madness, some of these leftovers were then transferred to a zip-lock bag to maintain freshness. The bottom line is that if you’re not careful, your refrigerator/freezer will begin to look like my closet. Perhaps we should put the airline industry in charge of finding a solution.  They’re good at losing bags!

Bags come in all sizes and shapes. There are colorful gift bags and goodie bags. Then, there’s the choice of a Little, Medium, or Huge Brown Bag when you shop at Bloomingdale’s. Bags are also used to hide things like the faces of embarrassed football fans.  Just ask any wino, “what’s in your brown bag?”  Can someone tell me what’s in a mixed bag?   Plus, every professional seems to have their very own bag of tricks.  I would prefer the magic of making them all disappear!

Things tend to move from one bag to another, like from the gym bag to the laundry bag. Floor crumbs from a bag of chips are sucked into the sweeper bag.  When that bag’s full, it’s dumped in the trash bag. If the dog gets them before the sweeper, they eventually “end” up in a poop bag.  Try letting the cat out of that bag!

Then there are bags that aren’t really bags. I’ve watched players circle the bags in a baseball game and even thought the game was in the bag. I clearly remember the 70’s when I used to watch the games in a bean bag chair.  Also, the game of baseball cannot be properly enjoyed without a bag of peanuts, or a pitch properly executed without a rosin bag.

There’s the bag lady, the old bag, bag men, and even the “Paper Bag Princess,” but none of these “specialists” have ever solved the problem. Even the bag blog (www.thebagblog.com) is no help unless you’re looking for an inexpensive purse. Disposable bags are coming out of the closet and choking the earth.  It makes me sick. Got a vomit bag?

I’ve tried to help save the earth, after many years of abusing it.  I’ve learned to fill recycling bins each week, restrained from littering, helped pick up others trash, and carefully maintained my property.  It wasn’t until there were plastic bags littering my closet floor that it finally sank in.  No bag is necessary to collect the evidence, plastic bags are a drag and they’re beginning to smother our planet.  I even have bags under my eyes from worrying about this!

copyright 2014 johnstonwrites.com